Filling Your Lamp First So You Can FIll Others???

An Excerpt from Oil for Your Lamp
by Lisa Hammond & BJ Gallagher

Virtually every woman we know has the same problem - she knows what's good for her, but she often doesn't do it. She knows she should eat less and exercise more, but still she doesn't make healthy choices. She knows she needs to spend her time and money more effectively, but good time and money management elude her. She finds herself always putting others first, while neglecting her own needs and wants. She doesn't get enough rest or sleep and her endless to-do list hangs overhead like the sword of Damocles. As our friend Brenda Knight laments frequently, "Why am I always riding in the back of my own bus?"

We don't do the things we know are good for us because we are so busy taking care of others that we neglect ourselves. The problem isn't lack of information - we have plenty of information about the importance of sleep, healthy foods, and exercise. The problem is how we prioritize our lives.

Psychologists tell us that some people are inner-directed and some are other-directed. That is, some people focus on their own internal guidance system for making choices about how to spend their time and energy. Their own self-interest ranks very high on their list of priorities. "What's best for me?" is a key guiding principle in determining where they focus their attention and how they make day-to-day decisions.

And some people are other-directed, which means that their primary focus is external, not internal. They are primarily concerned with relationships, especially people they care about. "How can I help others?" is a key question in how they spend their time and energy. Building and nurturing relationships with loved ones, family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers is the guiding principle in their lives.

Research indicates that, in general, men tend to be more inner-directed, while women tend to be more other-directed. There are exceptions, of course, but as a group, men are focused on themselves while women are focused on other people. Men like to build things while women like to build relationships.

This difference in psychological orientation goes a long way toward helping us understand why we women often do such a poor job of taking care of ourselves. We run around filling others' lamps with oil, but forget to fill our own lamps first. Then we wonder why we're often exhausted, frazzled, stressed-out, anxious and/or depressed!

Awareness is the first step toward solving a problem.

I am too old for this! :)

I have not felt this tired since I used to work day shift at PCA and then do midnights at St. Joseph Hospital. My body is just numb tonight after a 22 hour drive nonstop to North Dakota. But the final result of all this is spending some precious time with the grandkids and Amanda and Adam. Anita and two of her kids, Lisa and Brian also joined us. We began the journey by me not even being able to leave work due to a dead battery when I went out to the jeep. I quckly called my Mom and brother to come and take me home to get out of town. A friend of mine, Donna is watching the house and livestock and I quickly ran all the directions and things by her, finshed packing, loaded up Anita's car and off we went. Brennen slept most of the night while I drove from 12 MN til 7AM. Anita took the first shift and Lisa followed me. It was a long drive and Brennen played his own game with his own rules of PT cruiser and slugbug! We all grew weary of looking for cars and hearing his screams of excitement as he saw another one. We had no trouble finding ND....but a little trouble finding their house, once we got here. :) Amanda fixed a pizza with lahvosh cracker crust tonight for dinner and we enjoyed it. I have had a hot shower now and am ready for bed and a full day tomorrow. Not sure what we will get into these next few days...boating for one thing....this grandma may even try some tubing...but Adam has to take it easy on me. :) Shall we PRAY!!!! :) I have been so busy these past few weeks with family and Brennen in, I feel alot of other things have kinda went by the wayside....but after this next week, I think things will get back to normal. The end of September I am flying with my mother to Missouri to visit again with my older brother< Mark and his family. Mom has never seen his new home and has a new grand daughter in law and great grandson she has never met....so off we go again for another week! It will be good to spend some time with them also. Then my life will be back to the usual routine. Hope all have a blessed rest of the week!